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Present Day

It has been fifteen years since I wrote and delivered that letter. I wrote a copy of the letter in my journal at the time. I reread it for the first time in preparation to share my story. As I reread the letter, every single promise and resolution I made has come to fruition. As…

Extending Forgiveness

Joseph’s story challenged me to consider forgiveness as a means towards healing and wholeness. I was so angry! I was bitter! I hated not only my rapist, but honestly all men. He had not only raped me, but led me to believe sex was a terrible awful experience. I believed it meant a man’s pleasure…

Joseph Comes Alive

Following the end of my engagement a friend who had also had a failed engagement gave me a copy of a Bible Study that had encouraged her: Job. As appreciative as I was for her kind gesture, I was never able to make it beyond the first verse: “There was a man in the land…

Accepting Forgiveness

This is the point where God stepped in. Where my downward spiral ended and God began to gently pull me out of my despair. God reached out to me. He relentlessly pursued me when I wasn’t seeking to be pursued. When I had given up on myself.  He brought people into my life to pull…

Facing The Truth

After a year and a half of emotionally disengaging, the emotions came flooding in one day. My engagement had ended on the cusp of me facing the reality of being raped. I was angry. Bitter. I hated all men, especially my rapist. I never wanted to get married. I could not even imagine bringing children…

Engaged!

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. My sophomore year of college we became engaged. Once we were engaged I began to quickly unravel.

So Much for Prince Charming

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I survived for months completely blocking out my rape. After my relationship with my rapist ended I truly saw myself as un-datable, unmarriable. I felt like I had nothing to ever offer anyone relationally. I felt like I…